what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
