haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
