Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Come share oat with me in your robe
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Randomize
