I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Randomize
