"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
