he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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