I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
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