just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Randomize
