he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I fill condoms, not promises.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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