she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Randomize