And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
