I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Randomize