The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
