I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
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