i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Randomize
