he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I can feel your judgement through the phone
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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