I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Randomize
