everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Randomize
