Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
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