Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
