I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I queefed so loud it echoed.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Randomize