My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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