you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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