I think i peed on brittanys purse
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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