fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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