Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
