Your face is a jimmy john
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
