it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
