she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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