Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
