When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
