Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
