Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
Randomize
