You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Randomize