in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Randomize
