I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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