Already got asked if we're dating
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Randomize
