perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
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