My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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