i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
