The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I want a musical about memes.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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