just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I just had sex on a roof
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
