whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
