Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
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