what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
why do cheetos always look like penises
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
