My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
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