Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Come see our sink grown plant.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Randomize
