is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
