Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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