I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
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