He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
