he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Congratulations! We have a period
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize