Having a random hookup so left but love u
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize