The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
