going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
