so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
