In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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