Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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