woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
