i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Randomize
