im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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