And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
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