Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
