oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
