so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
