i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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