Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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