Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize