The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
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