my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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