Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Randomize