I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
