nut hugger
This girl is more easily done than said...
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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