Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
false alarm, still single
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
