I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize